"Yeah, I'll have two dozen please..." The Pros and Cons

Or "Things I Could Put on a Resume"

Cons

-I officially can't date 18-year-olds any more

-Only a thin spread of hair left

-Construction workers still won't respect me for another twenty years

-I can't (or at very least shouldn't) wear skate shoes anymore

-If I would have gone to school out of high school, I would have a masters degree right now

-The odds of me getting a wife, and by extension, kids in this life go down by another 7.2%

-I don't understand today's video games and will never be good at them

-I'm older than most bottles of scotch released from now on, but still don't know how to appreciate scotch very well

-This is the year I noticed one of my eyes doesn't open as wide as the other, thanks to a bee sting 3 years ago

-This could be the year I lose my last grandparent

-I'm still sarcastic far too often

-Still no closer to figuring out the meaning of life, the universe, and everything

Pros

-I'm one year away from being able to rent a sports car in North America

-I can finally grow a beard

-People will be able to accurately guess my age for a few years now

-The official year I stop growing, so stop asking

-I still have some hair

-I can still make an NCAA basketball team for one season

-I will still always be six years younger than Bryce Dallas Howard

-One year away from being able to throw out seven year old tax information

-Soon I'll be out of the "stupid, young, male" driver category

-I'm knee injury free

-I am (finally) able to be friendly and make friends with people in almost any social circumstance

-If I ever do get married, it will be with confidence and a healthy view of things, unlike if I had done so three or more years ago...yikes

-I've finally started to stand up for myself 

-I do not have any pets

-my credit is/should be very good

-If I owned I house, I could take care of it (except for financially of course)

-I am still entirely illegal drug free

-This is the start of several years in which my nephews and niece will think I'm cool and want to play with me

-I rarely hurt peoples' feelings anymore

-I still, and will always have at least a few good friends, and a good relationship with my family